As a baby gay just entering the world of LGBT with fresh eyes, it has taken me a minute to understand the nuances of the culture. I had no idea when I first began exploring all of the different facets of the culture exactly how bizarrely specific it all was. I am still far from understanding everything but this is what I’ve gathered thus far while doing my research about bisexual culture specifically in an attempt to better understand the people who might understand me.

Bisexual culture is cuffing your jeans for some reason and tucking in your shirt. It’s unclear to me whether this is a tactic that bisexuals use to attract the other gays or if it’s just something that enough bisexuals did for long enough that it just became indicative of the sexuality itself.

Bisexual culture is thumbs up and awkward finger guns to everything even when it’s probably inappropriate. I had those reactions long before I admitted to being bisexual so I imagine that it just comes with the territory. I might be looking too much into it but it is possible that it has to do with the fact that bisexuals haven’t ever really fit in with one group or the other. Always awkwardly in the middle. Straight people assume we are gay, gay people assume we are straight, and everyone assumes we are greedy and can’t make decisions. Nobody truly understands where we are coming from except perhaps the pansexuals so instead of picking a side or attempting to explain ourselves in any way we simply finger gun into the void in hopes that the universe will answer for us.

Bisexual culture is not being able to sit normally in any chair we find ourselves in. From my research, it seems this is an affliction that affects all the gays, not just bisexuals. But again, this is one of those things that I’ve done for the longest time so I can attest to this being true. When given the option, I will often choose to either sit on the floor or sit cross legged on a couch. If not given the option, I will typically just bring one of my feet up under my butt to sit on or perch on the arm of a chair or sofa.

Bisexual culture is being oddly attached to the song ‘Sweater Weather’ for whatever reason. I honestly have no idea why that’s become the bisexual anthem over any other song but if someone wants to explain it to me, please do because I don’t get it. However, it is one of those songs that if you tell someone in the LGBT community that you need to tell them something and then play that song, they will immediately know what you’re trying to say.

Bisexual culture is constantly having to play up being attracted to women on both sides of the spectrum. For men, because if you admit to being attracted to men, people will assume you’re gay. Then for women, you need to play up being attracted to women because everyone, men specifically, will just assume you’re straight. Women never have the problem of men assuming they’re not attracted to them, but the need to broadcast to other women that they are gay is a strong one. I’ve been to bars with my married, lesbian friends where men will still hit on them and consider their flirtatiousness with each other to be for their benefit. So bisexuals will ALWAYS play up their attraction to women regardless of their gender because there isn’t really a danger that a man will stop pursuing you just because they thought you might be attracted to women.

Bisexual culture is always being told that you’re probably just confused. You’re just experimenting and will go back to being straight or you’re just too afraid to come out as gay. For some reason there seems to be a lot of push back against the bisexual population from both the straights and gays. I don’t quite understand it but from my perspective it seems like people have a difficult time understanding things that are different. It took people a long time to understand the idea of someone being gay and become okay with it so when bisexuals decided they wanted to be recognized as valid as well, the straight population became confused by this new distinction and the gay population became frustrated with anything that muddled their message.

It wasn’t until recently that there has been more advocacy for bisexuals in the LGBT community and I am very excited for the direction that things have been moving both in the inclusivity of the LGBT community and in the acceptance in the general public. But with all my research and experience in the communities that I’ve started to gather I think I’m just excited because I’m finally beginning to feel like there are people who understand the things I’ve felt for a long time. Bisexual culture is really just understanding that you’re not alone in the things you’ve been feeling and finally finding people who understand no matter how silly the connection may seem.