I started quilting last week; I’ve had this thought in my head for quite some time now but I didn’t really have the time or the drive to start until recently. I am a pretty sentimental person but I’ve also been working to live more of a minimalist lifestyle. As you’d imagine these two things don’t tend to play well with each other.

I have a rather large collection of t-shirts that I don’t wear anymore but that have sentimental value of some sort to me and up until recently I was just storing them all in a box, out of sight. But the other day I remembered that a couple months ago I started talking about making them into a quilt. Just because I don’t wear them anymore doesn’t mean that I have to get rid of them or that they have to be doomed to sit in a box on a shelf forever. You can never have too many blankets, so I decided to finally start the project.

I have never really done large sewing projects before, particularly without supervision so I primarily relied on internet sources for my information. At one point I wasn’t sure how to re-string the sewing machine I was using; boom YouTube video. What do I do after I’ve finished the face of the quilt? Here you go, articles that explain each step. One of my favorite things about the internet is that I can follow my creative whims even if it’s something I don’t know how to do, because the sources are just a Google search away. At this point, I’ve finished the front of the quilt and I need to start putting it together with the batting and the back, but throughout this process I’ve learned that I actually really enjoy sewing and I would have never known if I hadn’t started the project.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you’ve been wanting to try something, start a project, or learn how to do something but you haven’t done it yet, just do it. I have avoided starting new projects before because I was worried about how they would turn out or was concerned that people would question why I was doing that particular thing. But in the past year I resolved to start doing the things that I’d been thinking about and wanting to do; not worrying about how it would turn out or what people might think and it’s made me significantly happier as a person.

Currently I’m working a non-conventional job, pursuing my creative ideas, and not giving a shit about what anybody has to say about it. Looking back I’m not really sure why I cared what anybody had to say in the first place. It’s really weird when you think about how many people don’t live their honest lives because they’re afraid of being perceived a certain way.

I’m realizing that a lot of the roadblocks in my life were ones set up by me so that I could be perceived in a certain way. I wanted to go into science so that I could prove I was smart enough to do it. I didn’t post on social media because I didn’t want people to think that I was a shallow, self obsessed, narcissist. And I didn’t start cosplaying until recently because I didn’t want people to think I was a weeb. This is all probably super repetitive for a bunch of you reading this, thinking, “yeah, we know, you can do whatever you want and you shouldn’t care what people think, nothing new”. But this is super revolutionary for me and I’m sure there are still people out there who need to hear it.

Especially for someone with anxiety, there’s a lot of pressure to present like you’re living your best life and like you live without abandon. But the longer you keep up the appearances of living a life that you “love” building it around what society defines as successful, the harder it is to actually be happy. I became very self conscious because I felt like I should be way happier than I actually was and I didn’t know what to do about it. At the end of the day as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, can pay for what you need to, and are happy, do what you want. It’s not worth feeling uncomfortable trying to live the life that you think you should be living.